ugh. a-fucking-gain? yesterday started out sweet, but thanks to a certain someone turned vile. damnit what do i do now?

why does this always happen to me?

and you've washed your hands clean of this

so its official. i am moving out. not the whole fam damily, just me. i dont feel wanted. the revolution is this, this house doesn't feel like my home anymore. everything i do is villain. everything i do is wrong. i'll try to keep up, but haven't bought myself a laptop yet.

viva la revolution

as jealousys venomous dart poisons the well of your heart

+a fight with morgen, a few beers before i drove home. a night that marks the evolution of our relationship.
.again. things will never be the same

i've lost one, maybe two of my sisters. as best friends, as confidants, everything they were to me. i called rachael out on her behavior (which isn't her own lately). yes, in front of her friends. in front of whomever was listening as they passed the table at lunch. she seems to hate me with a passion i havent seen in a good long time. thats bad. kelly seems to like me no better. i was having a good night. really, even after my confrontation with her at school. after my work told me the check wouldn't be in til tomorrow (i need that money).EVEN after i was pegged in the head three times with a basketball (on accident) and kicked in the nuts twice (not an accident). and then i go home, and immediately regret having to go there to grab a few things. my life is an open book for anyone who wants to read. my home life in particular is a chapter i'd love to embellish a little. theres always something. i turn nineteen tomorrowish. im going to have to get the house ready for the bbq by myself. i'm goin in this with just morgen by my side, and if the choices are A)lose her B) keep her and let rachael deal with her own unhappiness in her life, i choose b. everyone has a bad day, rachaels just seem to come in tides. and thats a problem only she can help to fix.
+i've left a few comments on cedrics journal lately. i hope he understands i just want to be civil aqquaintences. not like batman and the joker. inevitably im always the villain. and the victim