ok. so this is how it stands right now. im in far more debt than i care to think about daily. candice needs some serious attention. i need to do laundry. i need to reconnect, maybe. i dont know how else to go about it but making myself painfully available. but thats not for right now. right now i need to focus. need to burn and pine. to be financially stable. which, right now, is a long long long ways away. damnit.

ok. so. i cant even begin to explain. its almost as if my soul has somehow slipped into my foot. with every step, a new ache. why cant i have money? im not allowed to have fun? ugh. i dont even know what im saying, its not half bad. we've compromised to where i can have my cigarettes, i can drink once a week, and were gonna try to make as many candice payments as possible before riley. thats his name. riley. my unborn son. sara stu and abby know a riley in tucson. seemed like a cool guy. the middle name i cant even begin to fathom. it has to have gumption. im leavin work and it seems in no time coming right back. oh yeah, paddock pools? no go. im a LaZBoy guy.




i miss what used to be, but im ready for whats to come.

i keep telling myself to go to bed. i should. i start my semi sorta second job tomorrow.

looking for a place to live
i know i've said it before. but i think its time to move on.
+oh and goddamn do i need a car.