This is my son, Riley Thomas Collier.
And he's one badass mofo.
Yeah, you wish he were yours, ha.

Went through most of 06, all of 07, and all of 08 so far and tagged em. My back hurts, and I'm ready to leave work. Pool party at Kellys tonight, which is probably my plans for the whole night. Even they even go through. I'm tired of making plans that just end up falling through. All else fails, I'm going to get drunk at Jyles.

i've lost one, maybe two of my sisters. as best friends, as confidants, everything they were to me. i called rachael out on her behavior (which isn't her own lately). yes, in front of her friends. in front of whomever was listening as they passed the table at lunch. she seems to hate me with a passion i havent seen in a good long time. thats bad. kelly seems to like me no better. i was having a good night. really, even after my confrontation with her at school. after my work told me the check wouldn't be in til tomorrow (i need that money).EVEN after i was pegged in the head three times with a basketball (on accident) and kicked in the nuts twice (not an accident). and then i go home, and immediately regret having to go there to grab a few things. my life is an open book for anyone who wants to read. my home life in particular is a chapter i'd love to embellish a little. theres always something. i turn nineteen tomorrowish. im going to have to get the house ready for the bbq by myself. i'm goin in this with just morgen by my side, and if the choices are A)lose her B) keep her and let rachael deal with her own unhappiness in her life, i choose b. everyone has a bad day, rachaels just seem to come in tides. and thats a problem only she can help to fix.
+i've left a few comments on cedrics journal lately. i hope he understands i just want to be civil aqquaintences. not like batman and the joker. inevitably im always the villain. and the victim

appearantly im not worth the time or effort to chaufer from home to work. even though i've been worth the money they siphon out of my pocket. i walked right behind my mom as she was saying 'im not planning my life around his work schedule'. she didnt know i was there. thank you mom. you've planned your life around paychecks, whether their yours or not. and here i sit, having gotten the brush off.


-im slipping into my emo self again. cigarettes and all.
+i refuse to pick up a sharp object because of, though.

you know im getting out. 
this year seems to be going great. and its just going to get better. i let go. and as much as it hurt, it was for the best. look at me now. with a smile on my face. 2006 is going to be the year of improvements. +a car +moving out +a relationship devoured in love +friends and family i could never thank enough. tonight i realized im happy to be alive.

i passed out when i got home from school. and then had a horrible dream in which cheech and i were in a car accident.

i dont think i'd ever woken up so scared in my whole entire life.